Loyal, OK

 
Pastor Leon Seaton

"When I'm Angry, I..."

Ephesians 4:17-32

King Duncan writes that there is an organization in Hollywood, CA called The Holy Ghost Repair Service, Incorporated. No, they aren't in the business of repairing shoes, watches, or automobiles. Their stationery states that their purpose is "repairing broken lives for Jesus . . . in the power of His Spirit."

We may express it a little less colorfully, but that is our church's purpose as well, "repairing broken lives for Jesus in the power of His Spirit."

This morning’s message is about dealing with anger. On the surface all of us look like level headed people. But there are times when the circumstances of life wear us down and our emotions take over. That can get us into serious trouble, so this morning we will talk about preventing temper flare-ups!

You may be thinking, “Well, pastor, sorry, but sometimes I just get angry. That’s just the way I am! People will have to learn to deal with it.”

Maybe, maybe not! God expects us to change when we get saved. Since Jesus is our Lord and Master, then we need to change!

People can change, you know. Perhaps you have heard of Billy Bray. He was a Cornish cold miner in the 19th century. As a young man he was a drunkard well known for his lack of manners and morals. But something happened in Billy Bray's life, something real and lasting. He became the holiest and happiest man around. On one occasion he attended a church where the people told of their many trials and difficulties. Billy jumped up, smiled, clapped his hands, and testified that he too had experienced trials since becoming a Christian, but that he had known far more joys. He had taken both vinegar and honey, he told them. But the vinegar had come to him only by the spoonful while the honey had come by the ladle.

What had changed in Billy Bray's life was his attitude. The same thing can happen in our lives. We can choose and we can change. "Grieve not the Holy Spirit . . ." We don't have to settle for a life filled with bitterness, anger, and all the rest. We can choose, and by His grace, we can change. Illustrations found at: www.esermons.com

Our words usually tell people what is going on inside of our hearts and heads. In fact, unless you are a deceitful person, your words tell a lot about you!

Common expressions that all of us use actually explain how our emotions effect our bodies. Think about these phrases:

            Blowing my top;

            Blinding rage,

            Splitting headache

            He walked all over me

            I’m itching to get my hands on him

            My blood just boiled

            Beaten to a pulp

Simply stated, we need to watch our tempers and set a guard on our lips! Uncontrolled anger actually controls you. If anger is our frequent companion, we need two checkups: physical and spiritual

Anger is a response to what is happening, not our primary emotion.

The normal response of a believer should be love. God is love, and if we are full of God – submitted to God – then we will be loving people. It is as simple as that. (It’s easy to preach, but hard to practice!)

Anger is more than just being mad at someone or something.                                 

                        Frustration is anger at a situation.

                        Depression is anger at ourselves.

Snide remarks, the way we drive, our refusal to pray or do the daily acts of living are all manifestations of anger.  

When we get saved, God expects our lives to change. He enables this through the Holy Spirit, but we have to cooperate.  Our life style should not be like that of the unsaved. (The Gentiles) Rather we are to start living as Christ did.

1 Corinthians 2:16 tells us that “We have the mind of Christ.”

Unbelievers, on the other hand, are darkened in their understanding; they are separated from the life of God because they are spiritually ignorant and have hardened hearts. A hardened heart is something like a broken bone. If you break a bone and it heals properly, the calcification at the break makes that part of the bone stronger than the rest of the bone.

A broken heart is much the same. When someone hurts us we “calcify” our tenderness so that we cannot be hurt again. We refuse to be vulnerable to such pain. This is not healthy healing! We must stay tender before the Lord and others.

A hardened heart is like Jesus’ statement in Luke 8:10, “Seeing they see not, hearing they hear not.”

As sinners, or unbelievers, people lose their sensitivity to God and give themselves over to the sensual – i.e. the lust of the flesh. The things that satisfy the body and mind will never satisfy our spirit. Every human being is a spiritual being. Even if the person meets the Biblical criteria of “spiritually dead,” they are spiritual. They are simply serving the god of this world, which is the devil!

However, even believers can get caught up in serving themselves, their flesh, or their intellect. They begin to drift away from a close relationship with God and start living to please their natural life.

Thus Ephesians 4:21 tells us that we were taught to live according to the truth that is in Jesus. Jesus told us, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”

That being the case it is imperative that we walk just as Jesus did. By that we mean we “put off our old self” (verse 22) and are made new in our minds! (“We have the mind of Christ.”). Verse 23 tells us that we will have a new attitude!

If my attitude is love, then my response to every situation will be love. If my attitude is anger, then my response to every negative situation will be angry.   The old saying is, “If your only tool is a hammer, then every problem needs to be hammered.”

Our response is, “But I’m still human! We all sin every day in word, thought and deed.” Maybe so, but you don’t have to!

I am currently counseling three hospice patients, in counties other than Kingfisher County, that know they are on the threshold of stepping into heaven. But they are concerned that they have sinned too much. Yes, they are saved, but they still have lingering doubts.

There are appropriate reasons for this. First, their illnesses cause depression; secondly, their medications cause depression; and third, they know that they only get one chance!

Psalm 103 is very helpful.

As believers we “put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

Look at it this way. Wheat harvest started this week. What do wheat farmers do during wheat harvest? They either cut the wheat or hire it cut. If they can’t be there in person they think about it and talk about it. They have put on their farming clothes – it is their “self” for the next few weeks.

At Christmas they will put on their Santa Claus clothes, but not now!

Verse 24 notes that we are created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Really? “You want me to be righteous and holy? Hey! I’m just a sinner!”

No, you aren’t! You were a sinner, but after Jesus saves you and transforms you, you become a son! 

As God’s children it is imperative that we “put off falsehood and speak truthfully to our neighbors, for we are all members of one body.”

The Lord understands our anger… He gets angry! But He does say, “In your anger do not sin.” He also advises us to get over our anger! “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Since we cannot keep the sun from setting, we have to manage our anger.

The problem with uncontrolled anger is that it gives the devil a foothold. Angry people can easily become thieves. Being late for a meeting or appointment steals the time of another person.

As God’s children we are expected to monitor our talk. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but say only those things that are helpful for building up others in accordance with their needs.    

The Bible teaches us that the Holy Spirit is easily grieved….

Matthew Henry (paraphrased):  “Filthy or angry words that come out of our mouths are a manifestation of the corruption in the speaker. These words and attitudes corrupt the minds and manners of those who hear them.”

Our words have creative – and destructive power. God holds us accountable for the things we say. We control what we say by what we think.

A hypnotherapist recently stated, “Never give suicide a second thought. It’s the second thought that kills you.’  Meaning that we may be tempted to take the easy way out, but temptation is not a sin. Dwelling on the temptation sets us up to sin.

Control your thoughts! Control your attitudes! Control your responses to the failure of others to live up to your expectations.

God's forgiveness of our sins should lead to our forgiving the sins of others. If it doesn’t, then God’s forgiveness of our sins stops! We must forgive, as He has forgiven us.

All sin is a sin against God. All unwholesome talk, all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice grieves the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  So we are to be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  (from Ephesians 4)

Great, you may say. But you don’t understand just how irritated I am. Well, let’s look at ways to help ourselves. It may boil down to our self-talk. When a situation causes you to be angry you think these sorts of things.

King Duncan also notes: “Someone once said, ‘He who angers you conquers you.’ " You do have the power to choose. You can learn to control your tongue, your temper, and your tantrums. We hear people say, "I just lost my temper," as if they had nothing to do with it. Consider how much easier it is to lose your temper with you own children than with a friend's offspring. What's the difference? Isn't it because you consider it acceptable to tell your child to shut his mouth, but not to say that same thing to your friend's child? Each time you are angered, you exercise (perhaps subconsciously) a choice. You either lose your temper or you don't.

To avoid that, try the following self-talk:

            "He must really be hurting."

            "Calm down, I can handle this rationally."

            "There must be a reason why he/she is acting this way."

            "I'm not going to lower myself to that level.”

            “How can this problem be resolved?”

There is one more thing that you can do to make a huge difference. When praying about a person or something that troubles you ask God to give you an understanding heart. Then wait quietly so God can speak to you.

However, there are times when we do have to take action. If someone is being unfair you need to confront them. But do it in love. Doing it in love includes doing it at the right time. Get your own emotions under control before you seek to change someone else.

“My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this:  Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.”  James 5:19,20